I love marketing. I love being on newsletter lists for other marketers who give me great content and talk to me like I’m a human with a brain. But I fucking hate getting those shitty, spammy emails from half-assed marketers who think I give a shit.
THESE ARE (I SHIT YOU NOT) ACTUAL EMAIL SUBJECTS LINES I RECEIVED JUST TODAY:
“how little Jonny made BIG money on these here intronets” “I make thousands of dollars a month trading on the forex market in my boxershorts. Do you?”
. . . Um . . . Seriously, guys? Only one of these I actually signed up to received (I am now unsubscribed btw). But come on. This is what they’re giving me? I don’t know these people from Adam. What makes them think they can talk to me this way and have me respond in a positive and relationship building way?
THEN I GET THIS TWEET:
“@danielroach We’d love to be followed And we’d like to hear what you think of our crowdsourcing music discovery platform!”
Okay, first off – if I wanted to follow you, I’d have done it by now. Second, I don’t care what you’d love. I don’t know you. Third, I do nothing that is even remotely related to “crowdsourcing music discovery”, which pretty much proves to me that you’re a robot or spammer shotgunning your shitty offer to anyone and everyone. Now I’m definitely not going to follow you.
COMMUNICATING LIKE A HUMAN: THE (APPARENTLY) LOST ART
When did it become common practice for marketers to talk to us like we’re complete idiots? More to the point, when did it start actually working? The best thing you can do for your business and your market is to talk to them like they matter. Like they’re people.
Chances are good that you’re in a niche where people have problems. Help them solve those problems. Be cool to them. Don’t be a jackass. Not that I didn’t say “don’t sell.” By all means sell to your list, that’s kinda why you collected those emails in the first place, right? But remember that you’re selling to other humans.
You’re not tricking anyone into doing anything with your slick phrasing. You’re just giving them the “uh-oh” feelings. Tell them what you’ve got. Tell it how it can help them. Tell them why you stand behind it and offer them the chance to get it.
BILLY, DON’T BE A JEDI
The great myth of selling or marketing anything is that somehow great copy acts like a Jedi mind trick, shutting down your reader’s brains and forcing them to buy anything you’ve got. Well the people who wrote me those messages up top are not Jedi and neither are you.
Your readers won’t be fooled by used car salesman bullshit. They know better. They want substance, content and above all to be treated like someone that matters. If you think what I posted from my inbox today sounded like damn good copy writing, you need to go learn more about writing copy.
It’s actually supposed to make you sound like less of a jackass, not more. So from now on, let’s all just forgo the mind games and buzz words. Let’s communicate like humans and build relationships that actually encourage trust and sales. And that’s right, I made a Battlestar Galatica AND and Star Wars reference all in one post. And oh yeah, I’m proud of that.